Hey guys, so I am starting to write a three-part guide if you will about getting rid of any negativity in the main areas of your life. These are just little lessons I am still on the path of learning as I get older and the more sometimes it feels like a bad situation the more I have to remind myself that I am poisoning my life by dwelling on it and not removing the negativity, both physically and mentally. Our minds are powerful tools that affect our entire life. The way you think, results to the way you are, the way you look, the way you behave, what you have, what you don’t have and who you as a person truly are. This is an ongoing task, it will always be there. It’s up to YOU to keep trying, every single day, to be the BEST version of YOU. I’m sure you’ve all read Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret” or “The Magic” or any positive manifestation book which if you haven’t I would suggest you do, but, this isn’t about thinking positively to simply manifest a situation or item or possession, it’s about thinking positively to generally just be doing yourself a greater justice, you know? It’s about thinking positively for YOU because you deserve to. It’s about NOT thinking negatively because the only person you are truly harming when you do is yourself…it’s about sucking out all that poison that you may not have even realised was there. Free your mind, alkaline your body and eliminate the weight that feels you feeling anything but AMAZING.
PART ONE: Relationships
Is it just me? Or are there far more toxic relationships going on than there used to be? I’m sure there always were a fair bit, but people seemed to know either how to get out of them or mend them, instead of just staying in limbo with quite frankly an unhappy lifestyle. I personally know five couples right now that are close friends that are in toxic relationships, and not the stereotypically “bad people” toxic relationships, they are amazing individuals who I love equally, separately, but put them together and they just bring out the worst in each other, who just seem to always be hurting each other. Over RIDICULOUS things. I hear comments like “I’m just gonna make him suffer a bit longer before I forgive him”, “I’m gonna make her beg” or “I’m giving them the silent treatment”….really? So what I’m hearing is, I really don’t care that much about the issue, it’s more about inflicting suffering upon our partner, our partner whom, we are supposed to love more than anything in the world, does that sound sane to you? And what for? Does it make you happy to see them sad? Or does it make you feel justified if they are hurting to the same amount that you were? Whatever the reason, I’m going to let you in on a secret: When you hurt someone else, you are hurting yourself far more. Ever heard the quote “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”? This quote is virtually TELLING you that the only person you hurt when you are in a negative mind frame is yourself. So…how do we suck the poison out? Let’s face it, every relationship, whether between spouses, siblings, parent and child, friends, co-workers etc, has their fights no matter how big or small or how regular or seldom. Here are the five questions I ask myself when I’m upset with someone:
- WHY am I angry/upset?
- What part did I play in me being angry/upset?
- Is my mind clouded with emotions right now?
- What makes me the happiest?
- What is the best solution for myself right now?
Now let’s break these down.
You first need to determine why you are upset, otherwise how can you aim to fix it? Is it about what someone actually did? Is it the way they talked/treated you? Is it the fact that you are fighting in general that upsets you? Try really search and break it down to the specific point. Play the argument back in your mind. When did you start to raise your voice/walk away/get upset or generally just feel ticked off at the situation? For e.g. “I am angry because when he/she said “you always act like this” to me, it made me feel blamed for the whole situation and my feelings weren’t validated. He/She wasn’t listening to me, I felt ignored. He/She called me a name and it made me feel worthless, broke down my esteem etc Determining WHY you are actually upset is crucial, and these are just tiny examples it could be far worse like he/she cheated, stole or through a brick at my house or something crazy lol although let’s pray it’s not that drastic!
Next you have to figure out what part you played in the argument, like they say, it takes two to tango. Now this one although seems simple is the real toughy! Why on earth are you going to blame yourself and feel worse after you have just finished feeling like crap from the person you’re arguing with? But, again, it’s crucial. There’s always something you did or said that helped cause the fight. Even if it’s the simple “I argued back” instead of being the bigger person. You can only ever control YOUR actions. Sometimes people are just looking for a fight, but if you accept the invitation, you have played a part in this too. This is crucial because once you understand what you did wrong too, you can forgive YOURSELF. Let’s not forget that the reason we don’t always feel so good is that humans in general don’t thrive on being mean to another, more often than not we hang on to an argument because we feel guilty and are looking for justification for that guilt.
So albeit question two being a rather tough question, this next one buys you time. I mean, I’m you too! I’ve been in arguments and I don’t immediately go oh, why am I angry, how can I fix it, bam I feel better! No. Doesn’t work like that. I ask myself with pure and complete honesty….is my mind clouded right now, am I thinking straight, am I thinking bias? Total. Brutal. Honesty. Nine times out of ten, the answer to that is Yes. And that is a-OK! You are of course a human being and not a robot, you don’t have an emotional switch and you’re gonna still be mad at a situation but that might be clouding your judgement. You may not have answered question two truthfully because it’s clouded or you might be doing something rash because of your mind not thinking clearly, you’re emotional, it’s fine. Just breath. And move on to the next and most important question.
What makes you so completely happy? Changing your mood is the best and funnest part of sucking out the poison from not just a fight but a relationship in general. After all, if you’re not happy, you’re not YOU and the people you love aren’t getting the best of you. Which is in fact maybe why you are fighting? For me, I feel my best when I’m laughing hysterically, being out in the sunshine, after a good workout, listening to music really loud (so loud in fact that it is near impossible to not start acting out that this is my concert and I’m actually the singer of this song, kidding Ellie Goulding, but you just GET me!) and my absolute favourite – drinking tea, either with a good read, good friends and family, good alone time or good conversation. Fact: Tea cures all. So whatever it is that makes you happy, go and do that, give yourself a nice bath, put on some nice clothes, do your hair nice or something, anything, just for you! If you’re in a real grump-slump go for a jog, you can’t deny the science of endorphins, physically proven that you will be happier after it 😉 Taking your mind, your body and yourself out of the negative situation you start to feel like you again, which is what is going to aid you in thinking clearly about the situation. It’s a catch 22, the less you think about it, the better you’ll be able to think about it…later! Lol! Plus when our self-esteem has been crushed a little it’s important for you to love yourself the most and make yourself feel good about yourself again. Pick yourself back up. You CAN do it!
Now the last questions I ask myself is very carefully worded. When I was younger I was all about how can I “fix” this. Woah woah woah….were you arguing with yourself in the mirror? Let’s hope not! Then it was TWO people that were arguing and only TWO people have the power to “fix” “resolve” or whatever you’d like to call it. If I may say so myself, one person always aiming to fix the problem, or one person only ever fixing the problem is what feeds a toxic relationship. Unbalanced love is not good love. You’re working twice as hard for the least amount in return. Balance, balance, balance! It took me a long time to realise it does not always have to be on me, blame is a very powerful emotion, you should never blame someone for a situation but you should also never blame yourself, take care of you too. So I carefully ask myself, what is the BEST solution for MYSELF right NOW. Key words. Like I said before, only you can control your actions, hey, you may be ready to resolve the argument but maybe the other person isn’t so heading up to them, beaming smile, might backfire in your face. What is the BEST solution, for just YOU, right NOW at this moment. Now I can’t answer that and it’s going to be different for every situation and every person. Maybe it’s taking a few days to cool off, maybe it’s just focusing your energy on another area of your life you may have been neglecting, maybe it’s a simple apology for the part you played and can move forward after relinquishing your guilt, maybe it’s just taking it easy and focusing on doing the things that make you happy, maybe it IS ending a relationship (although I would never suggest rushing into that decision, remember question three!) but really dig deep and figure out what is going to be the best benefit for you right now without anyone else in mind, no ulterior motives, just you yourself knowing in your heart of hearts what the right thing to do for YOU is. It’s not about the fight. You’re not trying to fix something. You’re just internally deciding on a solution that is going to keep that feeling of feeling like you. The reason why: whoever you are fighting with, loves you the most when you are you. No one wants to be around someone they love when they are acting like someone they dislike. If you are being you and being true to yourself, the rest unfolds naturally.
Like I said, it’s never a quick five question rush through and voila, feeling fantastic! I go through the five questions over and over again until I’m completely satisfied with my answers. Maybe I’m so upset that I can’t even figure out questions ONE, so I’ll jump to question four and focus on that and then come back until I have a clear, positive mindset that can really think through the situation. Sucking the poison out of a relationship is not always easy, but, sucking the poison out of YOURSELF in a relationship is. Enough of this hurting someone because they hurt you business. If that’s what your life is about I can guarantee you, you’re not so happy in other areas of your life either, because you’re walking around with such a negative attitude, such a negative intention and any positive circumstances are not attracted to you because your aim and focus is on someone else and how to make them suffer. One day, you may make them suffer so much, that they ask themselves the five questions and realise that the best situation for themselves is to not be around someone that makes them suffer, even if/when they have messed up. You know? Be the type of person that you would want to meet. Be the BEST version of YOU. Be proud of who you are enough to know that you deserve to treat and be treated right. I am sure your parents taught you, treat others how you wish to be treated, and that saying is in place because however you treat others is how you inevitably are going to be treated. Be kind, even if others are not, be kind to yourself, even if others are not. Start with you and you will suck the poison out. I promise.
PART TWO: Careers
Hey Career! How you doing? Mind if I unintentionally sabotage you a little? Uhhh….OF COURSE IT DOES!!! Be kind to your career. After all, it’s essentially what feeds you, both literally with food and your mind with creativity and intelligence. Did you know that 80% of people dislike their jobs…..EIGHTY PERCENT!! (according to business insider) Only five people out of twenty-five people actually are in a job that they love. Imagine that at a mixer? What do you do? “Shut up, I don’t want to talk about it.” Ha, tough crowd! So let’s address that issue first.
When the poison is: It’s not your career, it’s your job. Well my friends, I am allllllll about the job vs career. As an artist you almost always in the beginning have a part-time cash flow to aid your full-time passion. It can suck, sure. But that depends how you look at it, right? What if, you were sooooo unbelievably thankful for the rude customers you’re serving coffee to because you’re earning enough money to buy that new professional camera you’ve been wanting, which is going to give you a more professional quality to your portfolio, which is going to land you professional photography jobs which is going to result in it becoming your profession. See? And it works for everything. Even if you’re 60 and you have been in the same job, you never seem to move up, down, sideways or across in your career because you have the same attitude towards it, what if you were so thankful instead for the stability it has given you throughout your life and the financial freedom it brings in to enjoy your passions and hobbies, what if you made a game plan to invest in your passion as a career, yes, even at 60 and went to work bright eyed and excited for all your savings you’re going to do to invest in YOU. You may be on such a high that someone randomly suggests some useful information about your passion that you may have been closed-eared to with the wrong attitude. Life is trying to serve you the best it can, but you have to be open to it.
Money is money, we all need it. But it doesn’t have to control you and it also doesn’t define a career. Some people can have a career that doesn’t earn ANY money, maybe they are a volunteer and that is their chosen profession and they have a side-job to pay the bills and enjoy their time doing what they love. I never hated going to work because I never looked at it like a dead-end, in fact quite the opposite, I see it as an opportunity to invest in what I DO love. And that’s what you need to do for the job vs career negativity. Suck the poison out by changing your perspective.
That passion that you love? The one you want to be both the career AND the job? You are unintentionally sabotaging when you complain about the job. If you put the job down, it doesn’t reward you as well as it could, you don’t excel as well as YOU should, because you are in a 9-5 routine of negativity. Then there’s the old “there’s not enough room for another….say….CEO” I call BS. There is room for you. There is room for everyone. You want to be a CEO? Start your own company. Save the money from your “job” and invest it in your “career”. You want a CEO’s paycheck? A.K.A. When the poison is that it doesn’t pay enough: A negative mind can view need and want very differently. A positive mind, is thankful for having all they need and therefore has what they want. Because what they wanted was “to have all they need”. I don’t believe materialistic things make you happier. I don’t believe the size of your house, car or paycheck makes you the happiest person on earth. I believe appreciating what you have makes you see it as more then what it might be. You may not have a 20-room mansion to rival Oprah Winfrey’s but you have a roof over your head which gets paid every month and you know what, some don’t even have that. But you have all you need, so you should be over the moon!
There are so many issues when it comes to Career because there are so many issues when it comes to money. Not having enough, having enough but not loving what you do, loving what you do and making some money but only ever barely scraping by, so you worry 50 times a day if you made the right choice by following your passion or…not knowing WHAT your passion is. Again, here comes the questions you need to ask yourself, but this time only one.
What makes you happy?
People aren’t happy in their jobs, because it’s not what makes them happy. Well, duh. But then, why are they still in them?
To pay the bills.
Is that a negative thing, being able to pay your bills? I doubt it. So then again we ask ourselves the same question but in a different way…..what fulfils me?
People are unhappy in their jobs because its not stimulating them, it’s not fulfilling them. But there is more to a day then 8 hours. A lot more. If you are unfulfilled at work, how can you stimulate your brain when you clock off so that work is more durable. I’ll give you an example.
What makes me the happiest, aside from seeing a hot plate of pasta coming towards me at dinner time, is being creative. I love the arts, for those who don’t know I spent the last four years of my life in LA aiming on being a successful actress and before then six years before that in Australia trying the same thing, until it dawned on me, I fell in love with acting from a scene study class of a brilliant script by Patrick Marber. I loved depicting the writer’s words and meaning and delving into the thoughts. I had been writing books since I was 17 but would always get half-way before hating it and moving on to my next thing. When I was in LA I was noticing all of my friends doing Euro Trips and being sooo unbelievably jealous that I was stuck exactly where my agent could reach me when really all I wanted was to be exploring the world. After purchasing a book by a blogger I realised. That’s what I could do. I love to write. I love to travel. I love a personable style to my writing and travel blogging is exactly that. Then I started researching how to make money blogging. And I took a leap of faith on myself. I invested in myself. I was brave. I battled the voice of “you can’t” and never looked at my part-time jobs as a negative impact on my life, in fact each day I got called in to work I would say YES instantly even if all I really wanted was to relax, I would convince myself I was glad to be going in and it would be over before I knew it and it was aiding my travel funds. Guess what? Each day zoomed past, I got paid better than others, although it was work it was never HARD work, in fact in comparison they were rather breezy jobs compared to most, I worked in the sunshine and I always seemed to have enough time for me. I’m benefiting my passion, with very little actual “work” all it is costing me really is time. What’s 8 hours a day for a year versus 8 years of wonderful days doing what you love. Sure, it’s still work, but I love it, so it never feels like work. I was excited to get home and write and now have a career of doing something I would’ve always done for free. THAT’S the difference of loving what you do and fulfilling yourself.
Most will read this and put it in the too hard basket. That’s the BIGGEST poison to suck out. Because you are doubting yourself. You are not believing you can achieve what you want. Well I have a resolution for you too. Don’t take the leap of faith, take the tip-toe step. Stay in your job you aren’t loving, change your attitude towards it, and when the clock ticks off, go home and work towards your dream. Have two jobs! See if you can earn money first before quitting. Those 8 hour “job” days, will turn into 6 hours, then 4 hours until finally you have been slowly building your empire until it is at its strongest and you could happily quit your job knowing you are financially and mentally better off. The hardest part, is believing that you CAN. Get rid of the negativity and just go out and give it a shot. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? Nope. Sorry. Doesn’t exist. You either win, or you learn. Failure occurs only when you don’t try at all. Be brave. It is soooo worth it. Don’t be in the 80%, reduce that number and live your best during your days, not your dreams. You get the one life and you can’t take money with you when you leave it. So be happy, suck all the poison out of your work attitude that is preventing you from having your desired career, no good can come your way if you aren’t open to it.
PART THREE: Health
Health IS wealth! When 20-somethings nowadays are having heart attacks, cancers and many more threatening diseases it is VITAL to be thinking each and every day about ways to healthily improve your lifestyle. It is just as much a mental state of being as it is physical, in fact even more so! Let’s break down a few common side effects you may be feeling in your life and what the probable causes may be.
My skin is BEYOND sensitive! If I have a slight change in hormones I get a breakout, if I snack unhealthily or drink any alcohol I get a breakout, if I’m stressed, you guessed it – BREAK OUT! Especially as I get older I realise more and more how important good skincare is, but funnily enough, it’s not just how you care on the outside but more importantly from the inside OUT! If you think about it our skin is what removes the majority of toxins from our bodies, our pores are constantly releasing anything that shouldn’t be in our body so if our skin is breaking out or looking tired, dry, greasy etc its because whatever we are doing internally, is showing up right out there in the open for everyone to see on our skin externally! You can start by feeding your inside with healthy cleansing juices, fish high in omega like salmon, nuts and berries containing loads of antioxidants and my two favourite skin wonder ingredients Vitamin C and ALOE. Aloe gel, aloe juice, aloe cream, aloe plant! 100% organic aloe does wonders for the skin. In almost every skincare product you will see aloe extract as one of the ingredients and this is because it is natures beauty remedy for healthy, bacteria-less, glowy SKIN! I also try to keep my mind away from my breakouts, the more I focus on them the more stressed I get and the more breakouts I get. I’ll rub some vitamin C gel on any breakouts before bed and then internally KNOW that by the morning they will be reduced. Every morning when I wake up they are either gone or reduced. Like I said, most of it is what’s going on inside. But stress is not always so easily ignored so let’s chat about that…
Stress plays a major part in our health. I have witnessed first hand people winding up with diseases that have been completely generated from their mind and way of thinking. I’ve seen cancer develop, dementia and even stress related brain tumors. When you stress your mind out, you stress your body out and it has to work 10 times as hard to keep you healthy and regulated. But you know what, I GET IT. Everyone gets stressed, that’s not the issue. The issue is how to deal with that stress, recognise it, assess it and release it. I read a quote once about a woman teaching a class about stress management, she held up her half glass of water and all of her students figured it was going to be the classic “glass half full” lesson. But she surprised them when she held her arm out directly in front of her and asked “How heavy is this glass of water?” The students responded with answers ranging from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.” I feel this lesson is so relevant to absolutely everybody. Whenever I get stressed, and I do, I stop and try to remember this lesson and ask myself, is worrying about this going to fix this? Will this matter in a week? A year? Five years? Almost 100% of the time the answer to all those are a big fat NO. But again, sometimes, it’s not so easy to just “drop it” or “let go” so I try to use my mood switchers. What’s a mood switcher? Glad you asked 😉 Well they are 10 memories that make me instantly laugh out loud and flip my mood. I start with my number one of my best friend completely stacking it and farting on the way down – HI-larious, if that doesn’t work I go to my number two of my mum and I watching a French man trying to park outside a café in Sydney and dinging both cars in front and behind then looking at us jaw dropped and saying “zey park too close, no?” haha instant smile! I work my way all the way down until I am in such a smiley and happy mood that I feel zero stress! Then I’ll make a cup of tea, put on some music, workout or calm my mind with yoga and meditation. The reason I “mood switch” first is because all of those things that make me feel good to do wont help if my mind is racing and over-analyzing. I have to be able to balance my mind by flipping the stress switch off and then am able to calm it. Think of 10 memories that make you laugh instantly, keep them in the memory bank, write them down, carry them with you or in your phone and just go to them when you’re stressed, in a bad mood, need to calm down or just generally want to turn that frown upside down! If they don’t work you can always force yourself to dance like a goof for a good 30 seconds or minute, can’t be mad when you’re silly dancing!
Loving yourself is the golden rule of physical appearance. I don’t mean being unhealthy and still “loving your body shape” I mean loving yourself enough that even when you are unhealthy to recognise that you deserve more. To love yourself SO much that you work to become healthier. Whether you are overweight or underweight, working out too much or not enough, completely proportioned or somewhat unbalanced – it all stems from the way you feel about YOU. That self-esteem, the internal self-image, that’s what controls the way you look. You could be completely physically beautiful to everyone around you and you sit there staring at the mirror unhappy because of your self-esteem. You could be overweight and know you need to do something about it, but that self-esteem puts it in the “I don’t deserve it” box. It can be challenging to learn to love yourself and celebrate yourself, we grow up with the idea that “loving” yourself comes across as being conceited or cocky, but that’s not true. If you don’t love yourself, how will others? The person that is going to be with you for the rest of your life, day in and day out, is you! That’s the relationship that needs to be getting an A+ way before worrying about how you look to please others. The excuses that arise, that’s the ego and self-doubt trying to sabotage your happiness and your health. Why let it? You have so much more to give and receive then that. If you could meet yourself 10 years ago what advice would you give? If you could meet yourself 10 years from now what advice would you give? For me, 10 years ago me, would tell myself “My physical appearance is amazing, I wish I would have celebrated it more instead of worrying about my appearance in high school, celebrate your body for exactly what it is and stop staring into the foggy, distorted “self-esteem” mirror” and I hope 10 years from now me will say “Thanks for taking care of yourself now and allowing me to live a longer, happier lifestyle, keep doing that and staying true to you” What I have learned from 10 years ago and what I am applying towards 10 years from now is that, your body is yours, just for you, but it is a representation of how you think of yourself and that the most important lesson in physical appearance IS how you think of yourself. I wish I hadn’t worried about my appearance in high school because it was the “thing” to think you were fat or avoid being too sexy for attention or try to be overly sexy for attention. I wish I had just loved me for me and not try to focus on how others saw me. But, high school, is a growing period for everyone, you are coming in to your own, hormones are through the roof and there are a lot of changes going on. That’s normal. But settling in to those changes and dropping the “high school attitude” AFTER high school is equally important. They say the best thing someone can wear is a smile. It’s attractive to be confident, to be happy, to be comfortable in yourself, to love yourself. It looks GOOD to feel GOOD! You are you now, it’s time to accept and feel comfortable, love who you are on the inside and be comfortable with you. Then it can shine on the outside. Homework: Think of five things that you love about your physical appearance and say it out loud in the mirror. Even if it’s your eyelashes, shoe size or elbows – whatever it is, tell yourself those 5 things and then a new 5 things every day for 30 days. I guarantee you that after the month you will be viewing yourself a whole lot better and loving yourself a whole lot more, sounds cheezy, but works like a charm!
If you are always getting sick, chances are it’s because you are open to sickness. Ever noticed how people that are always happy and in a good mood are rarely every sick, sluggish or down? In fact they are usually the opposite, bouncing off the walls and unable to contain all of their energy, always up for everything and honestly appear to be getting the most out of life. On the contrary, people that are negative, stressed, unkind, unhealthy and seemingly always in a bad mood seem to always get their fair share of sicknesses and the common cold whenever it rolls around. I personally believe we are all made up of energy, my proof for this is, I get electric shocks every time I grab a shopping trolley haha (or shopping cart if you’re Americano :P) if we radiate at a negative level we attract other negative things and vice versa. If I feel myself getting a tickly throat, I have an insane amount of water, some tea (My name is Natalie and I’m a tea-a-holic.) some vitamin C and a chill day, then I think myself healthy all day. I haven’t been to a doctors in yeaaaaars. I can’t even remember the last time. I almost NEVER take chemicals to get better, I am the home remedy, herbal girl haha but I love it. I am healthy, fit and not wasting any precious time by being bed ridden or suffering from illnesses. The next time you feel yourself getting sick, try “thinking” yourself healthy and I mean really try, not a word of “this won’t work” please and thank you’s! See how much your mind was telling you to feel sick, versus actually being sick and the effects of your mental state being able to overcome your physical state. Again, maintaining a healthy eating, living and being lifestyle plays a major part in feeling healthy. Drink water, eat right and sleep your regular hours!
Last but not least!
Of everything I have gone over throughout this guide, your mind is the most important thing in every area of your life. Your mind, more importantly your thoughts, controls who you are, how you act, what you perceive, what you accept, what you give and get, your happiness, your income, your lifestyle, your possessions, your relationships and most importantly your health. When I talk about “sucking the poison out” it’s to really make it clear that your mind can literally poison your life if you allow it. The hardest thing about thinking negatively is more often than not, we don’t even realise that we’re doing it or when we’re doing it. We think the worst, we over-think, we get carried away and we unfortunately can be unkind to ourselves, our loved ones and our life. It seems so simple but if you were to spend a day just catching yourself out when you think negatively you may be overwhelmed by how many negative thoughts there actually are. When you complain about going to work, you are being ungrateful for having a stable income, I’m sure the homeless would swap with you any given day. When you say hurtful things to your loved ones, I’m sure an orphan, a widower or someone suffering from a loss would again swap situations with you. When you disrespect your health, someone on their death bed would definitely swap their short days with you. Your mind, is about putting things in perspective, about thinking about others and treating them with kindness in order to treat yourself with kindness, to be healthy, to be sane, to live happily, your mind must constantly feel gratitude and love towards what you have and appreciate your life instead of complaining about it. The best way to have an amazing life is to have amazing thoughts in your mind. Sure, there are challenging days, be thankful for them, they strengthen you. Sure, you will have fights, be thankful for them, they teach you life lessons. Sure, you will not always have the answers and not always feel secure, be open to it, you will grow, change and improve. It’s not about the situation, it’s how you go into it and most importantly how you come out of it.
There are active ways to make it easier, thinking of mood switchers when you are in a grumpy mood, thinking of others situations when you are stressed out about your own and putting things in perspective, thinking of things you love about yourself or you’re grateful for can help relieve negative thoughts, energy or a negative situation. Say them out loud, write them down, think of things you love until you can’t think of anymore if that’s what it takes, do things that make you happy and feel good. TRY. Actively search for ways both physically and mentally to feel better. Don’t get comfortable in feeling sad, angry or down. TRY! Whatever area of your life is unbalanced or you feel needs a change you have the mental ability to change it and do something about it. It’s about turning to the good before the bad, getting into healthy habits, not caring what others think all the time, loving you for you and being grateful. I will leave you with this quote “Better to lose count to naming your blessings, then to lose your blessings to counting your troubles” – Maltbie D. Babcock. I hope this has helped even just ONE person, I know it was long and I appreciate you taking the time to read it. If I have helped even a single person, it makes it so worth it for me. Let me know what you liked, what you maybe want more of and any questions you may have and I will do my best to answer them. Like I said, these are just life lessons I am still learning, I don’t claim to know it all, but if I can share with you what has helped me in the past in hopes it may help you then that puts a smile on my dial and hopefully one on yours!